Current Headlines!

Secretary: Mr. Weinstein? I'm running out for coffee. Is there anything I can get for you?

Weinstein: No... but you can do yourself a favor and get a clue... HELLO!.... Coffee!!... It's nearly 80 degrees in Hollwood I don't want  F#cking coffee... I need a carmel machiato.... Get out of my office before I fire you....

Secretary: All righty... One Venti Carmel Machiato then...

Weinstein: Venti!!!!....Venti!!!!.... I just got back from the doctors office and they told me I had high blood pressure that is effected greatly by my intolerance for humans and by my extreme obesity, and you want to get me a Venti!!!! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!

Secretary: Well.... sir that's what you always order... and well I know how you like things... and well....

Weinstein: So what... you're saying I've made bad life choices, huh? Well go F#@& yourself Rebecca... My movies are up for over 6 Academy Awards... and you're going to tell me I made bad life decisions!

Secretary: Well to be fair Mr. Weinstein over half those nominations are for The Reader.. and Well... I mean it's no Slumdog Millionaire.

Weinstein: You ungrateful gentile natzi piece of $hit, you have the balls to come in here and say this to my face...

Secretary: Well sir I don't have balls, and I am actually Jewish, so...

Weinstein: What a disgrace you are to your people... denying the holocaust? What kind of crazed self loathing jew are you?

Secretary: Deny the holocaust?... I think you misunderstood what i was...

Weinstein: You are the worst kind of scum on this earth missy... you and Mel Gibson... We never killed the son of God, you all just had it wrong. Now, do I have to pull a nobel prize winning holocaust survivor out of my ass to prove to you the severity of this conversation?

Secretary: No sir I definitely don't want to have to look at anything coming out of your fat...

(before she can say the word ass Weinstein picks up his stapler and throws it, hitting the secretary on her head.)

Headline 2 weeks later:

Weinstein Finally has to Shut Up

After loosing billions to his 'emotionally scarred' secretary