According to Rear Window a peeping tom is nothing more than a concerned citizen with a broken leg. It's all just a misunderstanding!

Current Headlines!

Secretary: Mr. Weinstein? I'm running out for coffee. Is there anything I can get for you?

Weinstein: No... but you can do yourself a favor and get a clue... HELLO!.... Coffee!!... It's nearly 80 degrees in Hollwood I don't want  F#cking coffee... I need a carmel machiato.... Get out of my office before I fire you....

Secretary: All righty... One Venti Carmel Machiato then...

Weinstein: Venti!!!!....Venti!!!!.... I just got back from the doctors office and they told me I had high blood pressure that is effected greatly by my intolerance for humans and by my extreme obesity, and you want to get me a Venti!!!! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!

Secretary: Well.... sir that's what you always order... and well I know how you like things... and well....

Weinstein: So what... you're saying I've made bad life choices, huh? Well go F#@& yourself Rebecca... My movies are up for over 6 Academy Awards... and you're going to tell me I made bad life decisions!

Secretary: Well to be fair Mr. Weinstein over half those nominations are for The Reader.. and Well... I mean it's no Slumdog Millionaire.

Weinstein: You ungrateful gentile natzi piece of $hit, you have the balls to come in here and say this to my face...

Secretary: Well sir I don't have balls, and I am actually Jewish, so...

Weinstein: What a disgrace you are to your people... denying the holocaust? What kind of crazed self loathing jew are you?

Secretary: Deny the holocaust?... I think you misunderstood what i was...

Weinstein: You are the worst kind of scum on this earth missy... you and Mel Gibson... We never killed the son of God, you all just had it wrong. Now, do I have to pull a nobel prize winning holocaust survivor out of my ass to prove to you the severity of this conversation?

Secretary: No sir I definitely don't want to have to look at anything coming out of your fat...

(before she can say the word ass Weinstein picks up his stapler and throws it, hitting the secretary on her head.)

Headline 2 weeks later:

Weinstein Finally has to Shut Up

After loosing billions to his 'emotionally scarred' secretary

Signs

(Daughter Car to Mother Car)

"Mommy! I think that car wants to rape me!"

Top Ramen (Chicken Flavor) : 4 for $1

Non-Diet Soda (8OZ can) : $3

Failing Economy : $787 Billion

Blind Hope: Priceless...

...but stupid.

Current Headlines:

INT. MOB HEADQUARTERS - DAY

(Luigi runs in, he has been shot in the shoulder.)

Luigi: Boss! It's a madhouse out there!

Boss: Luigi! How many times must I tell you... (sigh) You only use the gun to intimidate! OK... how many bodies we gotta dump in the east river?

Luigi: ... But Boss...

Boss: It's okay... Everything will be alright... just take a seat here and tell me how many... and then we fix it... capiche?

(Luigi goes to take a seat.)

Luigi: Boss I didn't shoot nobody, it' the off shore accounts. The swiss are giving up our names to the feds!

(Boss knocks Luigi onto the floor.)

Boss: Luigi! How could you be so stupid... I send you to that fancy business school... I make you like my son... my accountant... and I can't even trust you to hide our money? Of course the Swiss are squealing they're a bunch of pacifist chocolatiering poofs! How you gunna be so stupid to give them our money? Huh?

Luigi: Everyone was doing it Boss... the Famiglias... they was doing it too.

Boss: Luigi!... Just cuz I name you Luigi don't mean you should trust those saucy Italians!

Luigi: Well... The Bennigans , they was in on it!

Boss: Luigi... my dear Luigi... We are better than those potato peelers!  We're the Chinese American Mob... We have dignity... respect... insight... Now go down to the factory and get sowing! We have to get those Prada bags on the street by tomorrow morning! I'll go take care of these Swiss.

Next days headline:

Good News for the Jobless: Lindt Hiring!

After crippling murder spree 'reeks havoc' on New York City's Swiss Chocolatiers!

Recent Activities:

INT. Water Cooler- Day

Eugine: What's wrong with your neck?"

Guss: I fell asleep playing Jetman last night.

Eugine: Are those the same clothes you had on yesterday? 

Guss: ...

Eugine: ... And the day before?

Guss:...

Eugine: Guss... how long have you been sleeping at the office?

(looks over to see a pile of Hostess wrappers on Guss' desk.)

...Suzie in marketing found a bong in the mens bathroom... 

Guss: ... 

Eugine: Seriously Guss...

Guss: ...

Eugine: ... and the glass has been broken off the front of the snack machine.

Guss: ...

Eugine: It's over... Get out. You Smell.